You know you're Bulgarian when...
1. Your 15 year old sister can out-drink any American.
2. At your wedding you know only about a third of the guests.
3. When your parents' friends have no shame in telling you you've
gained weight.
4. Your father calls you a dummy for not knowing how to do something
he can't do either.
5. You drive a better car than your parents.
6. There is a 120-gallon barrel of wine and cabbage in your garage.
7. There is more alcohol in your liquor cabinet than at the local b
bar.
8. You move next door to a family member to be closer but then end up
not talking to each other because of something stupid you said when
you were drunk.
9. Your parents insist that piling blankets on you body is the way to
cure your 102 degree fever.
10. Your baba and diado live in your basement.
11. Your dad carries around enough money to buy a car.
12.Both your parents had to walk to school barefoot in the snow, 5 km
uphill - both ways - and over rocks and they make sure to remind you
every time you get in your car.
13. There is at least one relative that your family refuses to talk to.
14. Being someone's best man really has no meaning.
15. When you make jokes based on your own tragedy.
16. Your church has a fully loaded bar.
17. You don't want to have or do any business with Bulgarians.
18. Your parents have a shot of rakiya for breakfast.
19. You started to drink at the age of 12.
20. You base your whole life on the fortune in your coffee cup.
21. You live with your mom and dad until you are married.
22. Your mom tells you not to sit on cement or your ovaries will freeze.
23. There is a slab of fat in your fridge called 'slanina.'
24. When your baba will not accept the fact that you're not hungry.
25. You go to a restaurant and you bring your own drinks.
26. When you can hear your parents talking and you are across the street.
27. When you're a girl, and you dye your hair no other color than burgundy.
28. When no matter how old you are, your parents never say you're right.
29. When you're 6'5 and 150 kg and your parents still think you are too
skinny.
30. When you're hungry, and then you go and buy a pack of smokes.
31. You have a shot of rakiya followed by cherno kafe and a pack of
Marlboro for breakfast.
32. You sport the latest Nike and Adidas outfits but have never
exercised in your life.
33. You always have the latest mobile phone on the market.
34. You can spend 3 hrs in a Cafe drinking the same cup of coffee.
35. When your parents call relatives in Bulgaria and they have to
shout to be heard.
36. As soon as you tell a neighbor you're Bulgarian they usually
scream STOICKOV with a weird accent.
37. When you're married with kids and your mother still insists on
cooking for you.
38. When you beg a friend who's going back to Bulgaria to buy you some
"good" cigarettes.
39. You know you're Bulgarian when you're 25, live on your own, and
still sneak up the stairs when you get home at six in the morning.
40. When you started going to clubs when you were 14.
41. When you think chalga is good music.
42. When you are never certain whether to stay abroad or return to
Bulgaria.
43. When people still think that you are from Bolivia no matter how
many times you say you're from Bulgaria.
44. You know you're Bulgarian when all you have to do is sniffle and
your parents say "uh-huh" and start yelling at you for getting sick.
45. YOU KNOW YOU'RE BULGARIAN WHEN YOU HAVE RUN AWAY FROM BULGARIA AND
STILL SAY IT'S THE BEST PLACE TO LIVE.......
